The path to feeling good and functioning well

By Lizz

A difficult time

At the age 16, I was excruciatingly shy, was doing my best to tackle an eating disorder and, at best, felt mediocre at everything I did.

Unfortunately, these are hardly uncommon feelings for a young person to have.

So far, this all sounds a bit bleak, but stick with me!

The 2021 Good Childhood Report, which publishes the results of a survey of children and young people conducted each year by The Children’s Society, found that children’s happiness had declined in the decade since their first report. Their measure of ‘happiness’ covers a range of factors, with school, friendships and appearance causing the greatest dissatisfaction in adolescence.

According to the report, an estimated 370,000 children felt unhappy in 2021, compared with 173,000 10 years earlier. Based on these figures, it is safe to assume that the decline in happiness between 2004, when I was 16, and now is even greater.

The findings of the 2022 Good Childhood Report did not show any improvement. In addition, broader topics like humanitarian issues, the cost of living and the environment are causing children and their families greater concern.

In their 2022 report Feeling Good and Function Well, The Outward Bound Trust consider that feeling good and functioning well are the two main components of wellbeing. If someone has a high level of wellbeing, then they are ‘flourishing’: 

“When young people are feeling happy and positive, feel competent and able to cope with day-to-day stresses, and have a sense of purpose and autonomy in their lives, they’re able to contribute their very best to society. They’re more likely to do better at school, be productive at work, have good health, live longer and be good citizens.”

    - Feeling Good and Functioning Well, Outward Bound 2022

Adventures with Outward Bound

The only people I interacted with during my Outward Bound Highland Rover course, standing in front of the Glenfinnan Viaduct (for the Harry Potter fans)

I am fortunate that my school fostered a sense of adventure. Every year nine cohort spent Friday afternoons trying different outdoor activities, culminating in a five-day stay at Outward Bound’s Aberdovey Centre in Wales. It was a good week and I discovered new activities that I loved (kayaking, more please), and did not love (jetty jumping? Still never done it). 

Those five days gave me an inkling that there was some enjoyment to be had, and that there might be some things I was good at. So, three years later, I applied for a school scholarship, and received funding to attend a three-week adventure at Outward Bound’s Loch Eil centre.

It’s fair to say that this move surprised everyone who knew me. Who was this person, who was so uncomfortable in her own skin, quiet and fearful of failure, but who was now throwing herself into the unknown? 

Those three weeks in the wilderness of western Scotland, with no one but my group and our instructor Nigel, changed everything. Perhaps that seems like an exaggeration, but it is not.

The start of great things  

In Feeling Good and Functioning Well, Outward Bound discuss the three key ways their outdoor courses contribute to young people’s wellbeing:

1.     Building connections and relationships with others

2.     Tacking fear of failure and building the ability to respond to adversity and change

3.     Building a sense of confidence, capability and purpose 

Reflecting on these three points and applying them to my experience, what did Outward Bound do to help me?

• Learn to take responsibility – From a practical perspective, we took it in turns to act as team leader or be in charge of taking bearings, etc. Beyond that, I also learnt about being responsible toward myself and others. How do my behaviour and emotions affect others? Am I looking after my physical and mental health? When is it time to step up to support others in the group? Am I being accountable for my own actions?

• Self-confidence – I started the week in floods of tears, mainly because tiredness (when you realise how long 30 miles actually takes) and because my feet were falling apart in my poor-quality boots. By the end of the course, I realised I could kayak and hike all day, day after day, and still have enough to cook, clean and, crucially, make friends. The fact that I’d even successfully applied for a scholarship to get there in the first place was huge achievement for me, and that felt good.

• Resilience – We all made mistakes individually and as a group, but under the guidance of our instructor we learnt from them and did better next time. I learnt how to deal with a multitude of personalities within the group, which made me a more empathetic and compassionate person. I learnt how to listen to feedback, and how to act on it. I also became more comfortable with the idea that you won’t be everyone’s best friend, but that’s OK. From a physical perspective, I realised I was capable of just getting my head down, digging in and keeping going.

• Determination – As it turns out, I have it, but I had never given myself or anyone else a chance to identify that quality in me. In my end-of-course debrief, instructor Nigel told me that I was ‘incredibly determined, almost to the point of being stubborn’. I took a lot of pride in these comments, and Nigel has been proven right over the years. His ‘stubborn’ comment taught me to be careful not to dig my heels in unnecessarily, though – another valuable lesson.

The location of my two-night ‘Solo’ on Loch Shiel. This was time for us to reflect on our experience ourselves, and to be entirely self-sufficient.

During and immediately after the course, I sensed I had changed. I know my parents think I came home a different person. But from my vantage point as a 34-year-old, having had some 18 years to reflect on things, I can see that it was the crucial steppingstone to my journey to finding wellbeing and ‘flourishing’.

I say journey, because young people don’t find wellbeing overnight. However, when given the opportunity and equipped with the right personal resources, a young person can gain a self-awareness that will stand them in good stead as they enter adulthood, and can set them on their own journey to wellbeing.

The Outward Bound Trust helps thousands of children and young people each year to reach their full potential. That’s why we’re supporting them with our row across The Atlantic as part of the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge 2023. You can donate to our charities here.